This is why I am a dog person.

So I'm sitting here at the computer, trying to find an idea for a new post. As I put my head in my hands and breathe deeply to calm the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy (actually I don't really care, but that sounded pretty cool), I smell a familiar sour tinge on my hands. It brings tears to my eyes to even consider what caused that familiar scent. Therefore, I recount to you the epic tail* of my day's journey. I must remind you that this story is not for the faint of heart, mind, or estomágo.

I was innocently minding my business all day. I had nothing to study for in economics or yearbook, and continued to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (by the way, if you tell me how it ends, you will come to know in a very real way the wrath of Vol... He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named [see that? Nerd joke (don't be too upset if you don't understand [which basically means you're missing out on the greatest thing EVER (did you know these can just keep going and going as long as you alternate between brackets and parentheses? [I really want a gerbil!!!!])])]) during English. Then I went off campus with Zach and Christian to get a frosty for lunch and chatted with my friends about getting jobs at coffee places. 
The End.







Just kidding.

Sad to say, my lovely bubble of solitary peace and joy and all that is good in the world found itself unceremoniously popped as I entered my final class of the day. On a table laid my assignment, as hopeless and gruesome as could be imagined. The orders were given:

"Skin the cat."

The poor dead creature lied paralyzed in its plastic bag, filled with the organs, dyes, and ethanol (the essence of nastiness in a preservative) that were trapped inside its body, mine for the taking if I could only make the cut*. Knowledge, triumph, and success, as it seems, pulsed through its veins, along with my potential anatomy grade. I looked deep into its shriveled eyes for any form of help. It continued to lie there, useless. Stupid cat. I took up the scalpel, donned my goggles and gloves, and proceeded with grim determination.

There comes a time in every person's life when they are faced with greatness if they only take up the courage to achieve it. I personally cannot wait until that day, because I feel like I have better things to do than sit around disembowelling dead animals. And besides, if I can skin a cat, I probably have no soul. That kind of concerns me.

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SOME TIPS FOR THOSE FACING A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE:

• Chew gum
• Wear gloves
• Wear goggles
• Don't like cats
• Don't take anatomy

*indicates a pun. Kudos if you caught it.