Well you guys...the big day came. And now it's over, and I'm sitting in my dorm room typing away on my blog because I have yet to construct a successful social life. (Yes, I think I just might be "that kid.")
Other than that though, stuff is fine. Lots of people keep asking me what I'm doing at orientation, and whether or not college is everything I hoped and dreamed, and if I'm worried about my classes, and what I plan on eating for lunch in the caf tomorrow, and quite honestly, I would begin to refrain from that kind of intense questioning, because I'm on the verge of becoming violent. Just kidding!
But seriously.
As annoying as those questions are, however, I've found that those are in some cases not bad conversation topics at all, because it means that everything is going normally. Those are normal questions. And you get asked them by everyone around you, because they expect you to be a normal individual. Unfortunately, there are a few questions that, as I've noticed, have a little more consequence than the aforementioned. And since I've been here for a week and have had such vast intellectual experiences, I thought I would list some interrogatory comments that you MAYBE want to avoid being asked (or asking, for that matter) within your first few days of undergraduate schooling. Seven, one for each day of the week.
Disclaimer: Not all of these questions have been directed at me. One was directed at someone I was standing next to.
1. "Does something smell like it's burning?"
You really do not want to be in this situation. If something smells like it's burning, you could very well be either completely devoid of any nasal capability whatsoever, or near to burning down your building, both of which aren't exactly good things. When asked this, I would check your extension cords (which are illegal in my dorm, so I don't have any, even though I do have a waffle maker and duct tape) or your power strips, or maybe the back of your minifridge that your roommate's father suggested that you put up on a stand so it doesn't overheat. (Note: put minifridges on stands so they do not overheat.) That way you can avoid having to awkwardly reposition your roommate's dresser to the center of the room and place the defective appliance on top of it. This disaster of residential design is now lovingly referred to as our "food shrine."
2. "So are you the triplet?"
First of all... I will point out that the twins in this situation are fraternal in the first place, so it's not actually a COMPLETELY stupid question, except that I look nothing like either of them and am about two feet shorter. I also will point out that I wasn't exactly asked this question in the above wording; it was actually just assumed, which makes it even worse. It also made me very sad that I am not a triplet because being a triplet makes you way cooler than you actually are, and that way I might be doing something more interesting than this. So you can blame my parents.
3. "...are you from Washington?"
That in and of itself is a very awkward question. I have nothing against those who reside in the Pacific Northwest; however, putting that one out there means that you either are in possession of a completely absurd stereotype or are psychic, but you're probably just a stalker. The situation actually worked out to the two having a mutual friend that had tried to introduce them but it hadn't worked but the one asking the question had recognized him from a picture and he fell to his knees in shock and everyone thought they were getting married. Which brings me to the next question...
4. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Funny story: I have NOTHING against dating. If you are in orientation and are reading this hatefully because you have just found true love forever and ever till death do you part and I hope it comes quickly, fantastic. I am SO beyond happy for you. But what is NOT a good idea is asking this question in a hypothetical situation where someone is standing right there and only hears THAT part of the conversation. ("Movin' pretty fast, aren't you, buddy?")
5. "Is your name ______?"
First of all, that means you aren't sure, and that makes you inconsiderate. Secondly, it means you weren't really paying attention when they told you, and that makes you inconsiderate. Third, if you are wrong, it means you have met other people who are more important to you, and that makes you inconsiderate. Fourthly, if you get it right, and then they get it wrong, it makes them feel inconsiderate. Last, if you just get it right in the first place, you might just be creepin', and that makes you VERY inconsiderate. Either way, now you have no friends.
6. "How do you transpose bass clef up an octave?"
This is actually only a bad question if you are a woman who is trying to sing a song in bass clef without studying it or having a wide knowledge of transposition, and you might have to sing very very low and abandon some of your femininity at the same time.
I'm sorry if you nonmusical individuals were confused by this question. Now you know what it's like to be an outsider, too.
Fun fact! Man choir's Tenor 1's sing in the same range as woman choir's Alto 2's! Probably higher! Yay!
7. "What's wrong?"
"I won't see my parents until Christmas."
"My books cost me all my allowance since fifth grade."
"My laptop was stolen."
"Someone just stepped on my foot."
"My roommate is a delusional psychopath that is stealing my life."
Just...don't ask that question.
