Ish my baby brother says.

I have this eighth grader who lives in my house and says fun things. Apparently we're related, which would explain why we have the same face, but his brain operates on a completely different angle than mine. And yours. And everyone's. This makes him one of my favorite people to talk to.
I've mentioned that my he would outdo me if he started blogging, so I decided to kick start his popularity.
All quotes taken over the course of the summer.

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Dad: "I've decided I'm starting a rock band, son. It's time."
Brother: "What?!"
Dad: "You've heard of the band 'Yes'? Well, here I come with the band 'No'."
Brother: "Or you could be like the band 'Kansas', except 'Kentucky'!"
Dad: "Yeah, that's a good one!"
Brother: "Dad, I have a good name for your band. How about 'The Alzheimer's Association'?"

Me: "Once my roommate and I ate a whole Little Caesar's pizza all by ourselves."
Brother: "You know how pizzas have eight pieces? Well once I ate thirteen pieces. And I threw it all up in Sam's sink."

Me: "What's your favorite kind of flower?"
Brother: "...I don't know. But my favorite flower name is a chrysanthemum. Or a poppy, because... 'poppy!'"

Brother: (while stretching) "OH! Kidney cramp!"
Me: "You can't have a kidney cramp; it's not a muscle."
Brother: "But I just DID!" (falls over)

Me: (singing offhand) "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy..."
Brother: "...but here's a technical, so go Miami!"

Brother: "This isn't a poem! It doesn't rhyme!"
Me: "It's free verse."
Brother: "Free verse sucks!"

(concerning Pinterest)
Brother: "Why aren't you pinning half of this stuff?"
Me: "Because most of this stuff is a waste of time!"
Brother: "This whole thing is a waste of time."

Brother: "Did you know you have more tendons in your hand than teeth in your mouth?"
Mom: "Wow! No, I didn't know that. What an interesting comparison. Where did you hear that?"
Brother: "I made it up."

Me: "I'm sorry I missed your game tonight."
Brother: "Yeah, it's too bad. I was a little LeBron."

Me: "Why don't I have any clean underwear?"
Brother: "We don't fold your underwear. We only fold MEN'S underwear."

(while looking at pictures) 
Brother: "LOOK! You're so pretty! Do you think you look pretty?"
Me: "I guess. But I think they look prettier."
Brother: "No! They're ugly! They're farm animals compared to you!"
(This one was kind of funny, but more sweet. And a blatant lie.)

Brother: "You know what kind of movies I like? Japanese movies."
Me: "Are you just saying weird stuff so that I'll blog it?"
Brother: "No, I'm not! Because I was watching Rebirth of Mothra 3 the other day. You know how there are like five Mothra movies? Mothra, Birth of Mothra, Rebirth of Mothra 3... Death of Mothra... Mothra's Babies..."

"Every day, I wake up, and morale is soaring. And then it just plummets, like a runaway rocket, except that those actually go up. It plummets like a rocket whose engines are on the tip of the rocket, and then it goes down."

"Dad wants to know if you've fed the chinchillas...and I know what I'm going to name my kid."

(during Olympic gymnastics)
"Quit watching sissy men and help me!"

"Why don't we give wilted flowers at funerals?"

"Everything that comes in a box is special. 
...wait, I didn't come in a box. Am I special?"

"Your friends are just little Catholic schoolgirls!"

"You look like Queen Amidala. That's not a compliment."

"Once, he told me that he dated a girl with more arm hair than he had leg hair, and I asked if she was part gorilla."

(concerning my dog being in heat)
"Mom, are those her utters?"

"I learned that I was changing schools, and I ran into a door."

"Wait...the Beatles did drugs?"

(while holding stuffed animal) 
"Remind me not to get a girlfriend. I have this dinosaur."

"Remember the pizza story? Well, once for my birthday, I ate half the cookie cake. And then I ate a whole bag of Munchies. The cheesy things. And then I ate two things of Dippin' Dots. I was in Mom's bathroom throwing up all night."

"I need a tattoo that says...not Mom or Dad, but...Authority Figure."

"Blink...hundred eighty-two...is that a rapper?"

"How old is she? She's really getting up there. I'd say she's in her hundreds."

"What if I named my child Fandango?"

"I feel like this post is going to give me some unwanted popularity."